salam...
i'm thankful for His bless n giving me the opportunity to celebrate my 27th birthday today, alhamdulillah... what did i get for this birthday? ermmmm, so many things but the most greatest gift is; Kiki gonna have sibling soon :D
well, actually its too soon to tell, but i cant hold it to myself.. haha... but its ok cos tak ramai yg view this blog pun! haha...
what else ha? ermm.. tu ja la... just wanna say "THANK YOU ALLAH"...
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
25 WAYS TO TALK SO YOUR CHILDREN WILL LISTEN
A major part of discipline is learning how to talk with children. The way you talk to your child teaches him how to talk to others. Here are some talking tips we have learned with our children:
1. Connect before you direct
Before giving your child directions, squat to your child's eye level and engage your child in eye-to-eye contact to get his attention. Teach him how to focus: "Mary, I need your eyes." "Billy, I need your ears." Offer the same body language when listening to the child. Be sure not to make your eye contact so intense that your child perceives it as controlling rather than connecting.
2. Address the child
Open your request with the child's name, "Lauren, will you please..."
3. Stay brief
We use the one-sentence rule: Put the main directive in the opening sentence. The longer you ramble, the more likely your child is to become parent-deaf. Too much talking is a very common mistake when dialoging about an issue. It gives the child the feeling that you're not quite sure what it is you want to say. If she can keep you talking she can get you sidetracked.
4. Stay simple
Use short sentences with one-syllable words. Listen to how kids communicate with each other and take note. When your child shows that glazed, disinterested look, you are no longer being understood.
5. Ask your child to repeat the request back to youIf he can't, it's too long or too complicated.
6. Make an offer the child can't refuse
You can reason with a two or three-year-old, especially to avoid power struggles. "Get dressed so you can go outside and play." Offer a reason for your request that is to the child's advantage, and one that is difficult to refuse. This gives her a reason to move out of her power position and do what you want her to do.
7. Be positive
Instead of "no running," try: "Inside we walk, outside you may run."
8. Begin your directives with "I want."Instead of "Get down," say "I want you to get down." Instead of "Let Becky have a turn," say "I want you to let Becky have a turn now." This works well with children who want to please but don't like being ordered. By saying "I want," you give a reason for compliance rather than just an order.
9. "When...then."
"When you get your teeth brushed, then we'll begin the story." "When your work is finished, then you can watch TV." "When," which implies that you expect obedience, works better than "if," which suggests that the child has a choice when you don't mean to give him one.
10. Legs first, mouth second
Instead of hollering, "Turn off the TV, it's time for dinner!" walk into the room where your child is watching TV, join in with your child's interests for a few minutes, and then, during a commercial break, have your child turn off the TV. Going to your child conveys you're serious about your request; otherwise children interpret this as a mere preference.
11. Give choices
"Do you want to put your pajamas on or brush your teeth first?" "Red shirt or blue one?"
12. Speak developmentally correctly
The younger the child, the shorter and simpler your directives should be. Consider your child's level of understanding. For example, a common error parents make is asking a three-year- old, "Why did you do that?" Most adults can't always answer that question about their behavior. Try instead, "Let's talk about what you did."
13. Speak socially correctly
Even a two-year-old can learn "please." Expect your child to be polite. Children shouldn't feel manners are optional. Speak to your children the way you want them to speak to you.
14. Speak psychologically correctly
Threats and judgmental openers are likely to put the child on the defensive. "You" messages make a child clam up. "I" messages are non-accusing. Instead of "You'd better do this..." or "You must...," try "I would like...." or "I am so pleased when you..." Instead of "You need to clear the table," say "I need you to clear the table." Don't ask a leading question when a negative answer is not an option. "Will you please pick up your coat?" Just say, "Pick up your coat, please."
15. Write it
Reminders can evolve into nagging so easily, especially for preteens who feel being told things puts them in the slave category. Without saying a word you can communicate anything you need said. Talk with a pad and pencil. Leave humorous notes for your child. Then sit back and watch it happen.
16. Talk the child down
The louder your child yells, the softer you respond. Let your child ventilate while you interject timely comments: "I understand" or "Can I help?" Sometimes just having a caring listener available will wind down the tantrum. If you come in at his level, you have two tantrums to deal with. Be the adult for him.
17. Settle the listener
Before giving your directive, restore emotional equilibrium, otherwise you are wasting your time. Nothing sinks in when a child is an emotional wreck.
18. Replay your message
Toddlers need to be told a thousand times. Children under two have difficulty internalizing your directives. Most three- year-olds begin to internalize directives so that what you ask begins to sink in. Do less and less repeating as your child gets older. Preteens regard repetition as nagging.
19. Let your child complete the thought
Instead of "Don't leave your mess piled up," try: "Matthew, think of where you want to store your soccer stuff." Letting the child fill in the blanks is more likely to create a lasting lesson.
20. Use rhyme rules.
"If you hit, you must sit." Get your child to repeat them.
21. Give likable alternatives
You can't go by yourself to the park; but you can play in the neighbor's yard.
22. Give advance notice
"We are leaving soon. Say bye-bye to the toys, bye-bye to the girls…"
23. Open up a closed child
Carefully chosen phrases open up closed little minds and mouths. Stick to topics that you know your child gets excited about. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no. Stick to specifics. Instead of "Did you have a good day at school today?" try "What is the most fun thing you did today?"
24. Use "When you…I feel…because…"
When you run away from mommy in the store I feel worried because you might get lost.
25. Close the discussion
If a matter is really closed to discussion, say so. "I'm not changing my mind about this. Sorry." You'll save wear and tear on both you and your child. Reserve your "I mean business" tone of voice for when you do.
1. Connect before you direct
Before giving your child directions, squat to your child's eye level and engage your child in eye-to-eye contact to get his attention. Teach him how to focus: "Mary, I need your eyes." "Billy, I need your ears." Offer the same body language when listening to the child. Be sure not to make your eye contact so intense that your child perceives it as controlling rather than connecting.
2. Address the child
Open your request with the child's name, "Lauren, will you please..."
3. Stay brief
We use the one-sentence rule: Put the main directive in the opening sentence. The longer you ramble, the more likely your child is to become parent-deaf. Too much talking is a very common mistake when dialoging about an issue. It gives the child the feeling that you're not quite sure what it is you want to say. If she can keep you talking she can get you sidetracked.
4. Stay simple
Use short sentences with one-syllable words. Listen to how kids communicate with each other and take note. When your child shows that glazed, disinterested look, you are no longer being understood.
5. Ask your child to repeat the request back to youIf he can't, it's too long or too complicated.
6. Make an offer the child can't refuse
You can reason with a two or three-year-old, especially to avoid power struggles. "Get dressed so you can go outside and play." Offer a reason for your request that is to the child's advantage, and one that is difficult to refuse. This gives her a reason to move out of her power position and do what you want her to do.
7. Be positive
Instead of "no running," try: "Inside we walk, outside you may run."
8. Begin your directives with "I want."Instead of "Get down," say "I want you to get down." Instead of "Let Becky have a turn," say "I want you to let Becky have a turn now." This works well with children who want to please but don't like being ordered. By saying "I want," you give a reason for compliance rather than just an order.
9. "When...then."
"When you get your teeth brushed, then we'll begin the story." "When your work is finished, then you can watch TV." "When," which implies that you expect obedience, works better than "if," which suggests that the child has a choice when you don't mean to give him one.
10. Legs first, mouth second
Instead of hollering, "Turn off the TV, it's time for dinner!" walk into the room where your child is watching TV, join in with your child's interests for a few minutes, and then, during a commercial break, have your child turn off the TV. Going to your child conveys you're serious about your request; otherwise children interpret this as a mere preference.
11. Give choices
"Do you want to put your pajamas on or brush your teeth first?" "Red shirt or blue one?"
12. Speak developmentally correctly
The younger the child, the shorter and simpler your directives should be. Consider your child's level of understanding. For example, a common error parents make is asking a three-year- old, "Why did you do that?" Most adults can't always answer that question about their behavior. Try instead, "Let's talk about what you did."
13. Speak socially correctly
Even a two-year-old can learn "please." Expect your child to be polite. Children shouldn't feel manners are optional. Speak to your children the way you want them to speak to you.
14. Speak psychologically correctly
Threats and judgmental openers are likely to put the child on the defensive. "You" messages make a child clam up. "I" messages are non-accusing. Instead of "You'd better do this..." or "You must...," try "I would like...." or "I am so pleased when you..." Instead of "You need to clear the table," say "I need you to clear the table." Don't ask a leading question when a negative answer is not an option. "Will you please pick up your coat?" Just say, "Pick up your coat, please."
15. Write it
Reminders can evolve into nagging so easily, especially for preteens who feel being told things puts them in the slave category. Without saying a word you can communicate anything you need said. Talk with a pad and pencil. Leave humorous notes for your child. Then sit back and watch it happen.
16. Talk the child down
The louder your child yells, the softer you respond. Let your child ventilate while you interject timely comments: "I understand" or "Can I help?" Sometimes just having a caring listener available will wind down the tantrum. If you come in at his level, you have two tantrums to deal with. Be the adult for him.
17. Settle the listener
Before giving your directive, restore emotional equilibrium, otherwise you are wasting your time. Nothing sinks in when a child is an emotional wreck.
18. Replay your message
Toddlers need to be told a thousand times. Children under two have difficulty internalizing your directives. Most three- year-olds begin to internalize directives so that what you ask begins to sink in. Do less and less repeating as your child gets older. Preteens regard repetition as nagging.
19. Let your child complete the thought
Instead of "Don't leave your mess piled up," try: "Matthew, think of where you want to store your soccer stuff." Letting the child fill in the blanks is more likely to create a lasting lesson.
20. Use rhyme rules.
"If you hit, you must sit." Get your child to repeat them.
21. Give likable alternatives
You can't go by yourself to the park; but you can play in the neighbor's yard.
22. Give advance notice
"We are leaving soon. Say bye-bye to the toys, bye-bye to the girls…"
23. Open up a closed child
Carefully chosen phrases open up closed little minds and mouths. Stick to topics that you know your child gets excited about. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no. Stick to specifics. Instead of "Did you have a good day at school today?" try "What is the most fun thing you did today?"
24. Use "When you…I feel…because…"
When you run away from mommy in the store I feel worried because you might get lost.
25. Close the discussion
If a matter is really closed to discussion, say so. "I'm not changing my mind about this. Sorry." You'll save wear and tear on both you and your child. Reserve your "I mean business" tone of voice for when you do.
*source: www.askdrsears.com
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Thursday, 27 August 2009
kuih raye!
for dis raya, aku oder 4 jenih kuih ja... tu pun dah kira byk tu coz angah n along pun mesti beli gak. baju raya lak, nanti aku cilok jer dr butik tu, malas dah nak beli. theme kaler for dis year maybe oren cos hasben aku nak sgt kaler tu.. eermmm.. nasib la aku yg bekulit agak2 mcm j-lo nih. hehe...sebenaqnya teringin sgt nak buat kuih sendiri, tp takdan la.. siang keja then balik dah nak buka, mlm jenguk butik, pastu layan kiki lg, emm takdan..takdan.. mmg sgt sibuk. bestnya kalu dpt jadik housewife. antaq kiki kat baby-sitter, then aku ngemas n masak ja kat umah. ermmm, bestnya kalu gitu... hehe.. dah dah.. cukup la berangan. keje!keje!
Thursday, 20 August 2009
Ramadhan-Kareem
pejam celik, pejam celik... dah datang lagi bulan Ramadhan. best sangat2. aku suka sgt bulan posa nih sbb suasana dia lain skit, sayu but at da same time, ceria dan bahagia... so guys, tu ja wat kali ini, SELAMAT BERPUASA DAN TINGKATKAN IBADAH UNTUK BEKALAN KE SANA...Saturday, 8 August 2009
dearly deported...
MIX fm’s Dearly Deported reunite long lost loved ones. For two weeks this August, MIX fm is flying the loved one to Kuala Lumpur and take them straight to the MIX fm studio. They put the overseas relative in one studio and the Malaysian-based relative in an adjoining studio. They will be able to see each other, but won’t be able to talk to each other. And then the Malaysian-based relative will have to answer 3 questions about their overseas relative.
Get ONE right – they spend 10 minutes together·
Get TWO right – they get 1 hour together·
Get all THREE right – they are reunited for 2 weeks!
But if he or she gets none of the questions right, they will instantly deport the loved one. No hugs, not even a chance to say hello... they take them straight back to the airport and put them on a flight back home!
I was crying when I watched one of the long lost sibling (Johny Phoon and Susan Doyle) met on youtube. If I not mistaken, Johny got only two right answers and the’re given an hour to spend together along with the others family. The moment was `undescribeable’... Johny wish he could spend more time with his sister which he has never met in last 45 years. But, they got luck because the next flight to Sweden was only 30 hours after the met and they’re given chance to spend the whole hours together.. how sweet. MIX fm, you did a great job, congrats!
I was crying when I watched one of the long lost sibling (Johny Phoon and Susan Doyle) met on youtube. If I not mistaken, Johny got only two right answers and the’re given an hour to spend together along with the others family. The moment was `undescribeable’... Johny wish he could spend more time with his sister which he has never met in last 45 years. But, they got luck because the next flight to Sweden was only 30 hours after the met and they’re given chance to spend the whole hours together.. how sweet. MIX fm, you did a great job, congrats!
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
ZaNa
ZANA boutique is now open @ bandar darul aman, jitra next to depoh serahan pos malaysia, opposite to 'spaider corner'. dekat ngan tapak expo jualan tu la...
we've baju kurung (biasa n kurung pahang only) design lawa2, latest punya design direk frm KL, tudung bawal, exclusive n hand made. so guys, pakat2 mai la ek *wink*
-- exclusive n limited design --
-- handmade --
we've baju kurung (biasa n kurung pahang only) design lawa2, latest punya design direk frm KL, tudung bawal, exclusive n hand made. so guys, pakat2 mai la ek *wink*
-- exclusive n limited design --
-- handmade ---- thai silk --
-- chifffon --
-- viscos --
-- china cotton --
-- crepe --
-- viscos --
-- thai silk --
-- chifffon ---- viscos --
-- china cotton --
-- crepe --
-- viscos --
-- thai silk --Saturday, 11 July 2009
sepetang bersama Pak MB :)
tadi, aku, siti, adib n abg syarim pegi sungai limau. ada function MB kat sana. kebetulan tpt tu sbelah ngan umah MB Datuk Seri Ustaz Azizan. pas makan mee kuah, Ustaz ajak kami pegi umah dia. kami lepak dlm bilik dia yang penuh dgn buku. kagum aku sehhh.. rajin membaca, patut la sangat bijak.. ahaha..
cuaca sangat sejuk cos ujan direk. wife ustad (Puan Sham) sangat la friendly orangnya.. siap hidang teh panas n buah lagi ha.. apa lagi, kami pun layan jalah.. dah tu dan lagi kami pose bersama ustaz.. cuma abg syarim ja tadak kat sini sbb dia bertindak sbg pixman. haha... tu ja utk hari nih, aku nak balik amik kiki kat kampung lak nih. tata..
Monday, 6 July 2009
KENEGARAAN
25 sampai 29 jun lepas aku pi kursus kenegaraan. wah... sangat patriotik. sebelum nih dok dengaq member2 cita, mmg sangat tidak disukailah akan hal kursus berkenaan. namun setelah menempuhinya, agak tidak tertekanlah adanya.. tahap kebosanan tu bagi aku mgkn bergantung kepada pihak yg menguruskan kursus berkenaan adanya. sekiranya mereka sgt membosankan, maka akan bosanlah jadinya..
namun pakcik-pakcik ex komando yg menguruskan kami seramai 96 orang kat kem bumi jati shah alam tu, sangatlah baik hati adanya. justeru melayan kami sperti anak-anak kiranya, maka tidaklah kami stress dan dapat menjalani kursus dengan baiklah adanya... tiulah saja adanya komen aku berkaitan akan hal kursus KENEGARAAN yg aku tempuhi baru-baru ini....
* apa punya bahasa la aku guna tu? grammar, vocab out sumanya! hihi...
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